"Sheila" by Jamie T

There are two seperate videos for this song. Both of which are worth watching. Sadly, embedding is disabled on these. So, enjoy:

Deliciously Deviant Dexter

Through the beauty of Netflix, the wife and I just got finished watching the entire first season of Showtime's drama Dexter. For anyone not familiar with the show, it stars Michael C. Hall as a blood splatter analyst working for the Miami police department. In his spare time he also likes to stalk and murder 'bad guys' in a ritualistic fashion. I wonder if South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford is next on his list.

[spoiler alert] The first season centers around this vigilante serial killer and his journey of self discovery. He finds out he has a brother. His brother is also a serial killer. Michael C. Hall marries the girl who plays his sister, which is gross because it's incest, but more like TV incest which is considerably less gross due to the fact that it's not real. And even if it were real, she's only his sister through adoption, but still the psychological bond is there. Right? [end spoiler alert]

And Dexter's sister is like a gerbil in a hamster wheel. She keeps searching for love, but she never really gets anywhere. I think she'd be great with Sgt. Doakes (played by Erik King). If you watch the show, don't worry. I don't know anything. I'm just guesstilating. Although I wouldn't be surprised if Dexter sabotaged that relationship. I watched Six Feet Under. I'm fully aware of his preoccupation with bald black guys. His relationship with Keith was tumultuous at best. I'm just sayin', watch out Montel Williams.

Hunting for Strange Ass at the Grocery Store

Flowers. Hallmark cards. Heart-shaped candy and boxes of assorted chocolates. Is there anything that sums up February more than Valentine's Day? Well, besides black history? I doubt it. The fact is, February is for lovers. And why should I be denied love just because I'm married? That's why I've decided to throw my hat into a couple of the better known dating sites; Match.com, eHarmony.com, ect. I'm hoping to find someone who looks like the Sun Maid Raisins lady. And if that doesn't pan out, I wouldn't mind having lunch with the girl from the Santitas bag.

The wife is strangely unopposed to this idea. Perhaps she's too distracted by the ungodly creature that's tap dancing on her bladder. Whatever the case, I'm overjoyed by the opportunity to bring disappointment and regret to a new generation of women. I say women, because I was under the impression that these dating sites are strictly heterosexual. I'm just waiting for a few queens out there to prove me wrong and point me in a more flamboyant direction. I wonder if the Brawny guy is available.

Oddly enough, my son is also for sale. The wife and I have been pimping out his baby registry info to anyone and everyone who will listen. Well, are you listening? #43691882 at babiesRus . And if unrewarded generosity is as unappealing to you as it is to me, I'm offering the consolation prize of naming my son. The first person to buy something from our registry will get the honor of naming our son. I'm not just talking abut the first name, either. I'm talking about the whole shabang. How does Louise Larsen, Jr. sound? Or Prince Gomolvilas, Jr.? And, Prince, if the Brawny guy is available, I'll take the one from the 1980's. I can't resist a guy with a moustache.

"Damaged Goods" by the Devotchkas

NYC, bitch!

Sarah Silverman and the Toyota Death Trap Recall

When I first saw the movie Speed, I never imagined that it would play out in real life. I'm speaking, of course, of the massive number of Toyota's that are being recalled due to sticking gas pedals. There have been reports of some automobiles reaching speeds of 130 mph before being stopped only through collision. I can't tell if I'm watching CNN or a Jason Statham movie. As Toyota releases recalls and apologies, I have only one logical question: where the hell is Dennis Hopper?

Another unstoppable force is comedian Sarah Silverman. Season 3 of the Sarah Silverman Program airs tonight. Some people might be put off by her confrontational comedy, but it's satire. It's supposed to make you think a little. She's like a female version of Larry the Cable Guy. Only cuter. And more Jewisher. Oh, and her comedy act is totally different from his. So I guess she's not like him at all. But she is like these new Toyota death traps. She's shiny and fast.

"Rebel Girl" by Bikini Kill

The last 30 seconds are my favorite. It makes me feel the warmth of sisterhood so much that I wish I had my period. Enjoy:

Whores, Girlfriends and Guys Named J.D.

I was saddened to hear of the recent death of author J.D. Salinger. When I was a child, I often dreamt of running away to New York and paying for a prostitute. Salinger's novel, the Catcher in the Rye, gave me hope that my dream could one day be fulfilled. The only difference is, I wouldn't have pussed out like the fictional Holden Caufield. I would have given that whore six and a half inches of American made reality - 3 minutes of sex followed by 57 minutes of crying, 'cause all be damned if I'm paying for the second hour.

Another J.D. to recently pass is the main character from the ABC comedy Scrubs. The network execs didn't exactly kill him off, but he might as well be dead with as few 'guest appearances' as he makes. Ever since ABC bought the show from NBC and Zack Braff walked, the show just isn't the same. Watching the show now is like staying with your hot girlfriend after she gets really fat. Sure, the sex is still good, but her self-esteem issues are a total drag. If I wanted that type of bedroom talk, I'd just have sex with my wife.